Saturday , March 19, 2016
I was going to see one of my best friends Julie. On the way I decided to check out the new Family Dollar in the neighborhood just to waste some time ,because I didn't need to be at Julie's house until noon . So , I go in to the store and walk up and down each isle to see what kind of things they have in this new store . I find some really cute little mushrooms and I thought they would look great in my potted plants and as I walk up to the the counter to pay I noticed the cashier. Well , all I really seen in that point in time was the right side of her head and as the customer in front of me stepped away , I seen her face . It was your Grandmother Regina ! The last time I seen you she and your Aunt KayKay had came to my house to pick you up . I thought that was strange because your Daddy was the one that was suppose to come to pick you up . You were happy to see them at first but that soon changed when you realized you were going to go with them , you started to cry and you didn't stop . You did not want go to her and I had to put you in the car the whole time you were crying and my heart was breaking , ( If I would of known that we would not be able to be a part of your life I would not of let you go ) but , your mommy had brought you back so you could spend time with your daddy before he was suppose to start his training in the National Guard ( If that is even true I do not know ?) . Regina said that you would be back to visit . But, little did I know that was going to be the last time I would Hold you in my arms . The days that past into weeks and then months and now years have gone by and I am haunted by a grandson that I can not see .
I like to think of myself as a strong person but it has truly gotten so hard to not be sad , and angry since I seen Regina again . We ( your mom and I have tried to locate them and you for 5 years now ) and I walked into a store and there she was the woman who took you from me . But to the story . I walked up to the counter and as she looked at me all the color in her face washed from flesh and she was pale as a ghost . I smile and I said "Well, Hello Regina .'' and all she could reply was '' Oh , My."and looked down at the counter and from that moment on she didn't look up again .I than with a smile forced upon my face said " I would like to see my grandson ." while still looking down she says "Joe ! Will not have it !" I than said " Well, I do not know why ?" she put my mushrooms in a bag handed me my change (while mind you still not looking up ) I took my receipt and started to crumbled it and than I said " Have a nice day ." and continued to walked away .
When I got to the car I immediately called your mom and told her about the encounter I just had . Your mom was so excited to the fact that I had found your other Grandmother and in return some how I found a link back to you . I truly do not know what to do Baby boy . I have no legal rights to see you . It is between you Daddy and Your Mommy and until they get this taking care of my heart will continue to break . I struggle with the thought that you too are going to be hurt by all of this because they can not act like grown ups and do what is right by you . Your daddy keeping you away from those of us who love you and want to teach you about your those in our family that has pasted on before you arrived or shortly there after , like your Great NaNa who pasted from Cancer the year you were born . She was strong and had gone through her own difficulties in her life and I believe if she was still alive today this would not be happening . Or , your great great Grandpop who was a writer and a poet that also pasted from Cancer . He was so proud when he got hold you in his arms . These things are going to cause anger and resentment towards those who have kept you apart from those of us who are also your family .
I don't know what to to . You are the last thing I think about at night when I sleep and you are the first thing I think of when ever I open my eyes . It is a viscous cycle , that I wish I could stop , but I can not because I miss you so much . I can not even write to you everyday like I said I would because I get so sad . I try to be strong but this hurt is a true hurt . I went through this pain before with your Mom and Aunt with their other Grandmother your Great grandma Gene . She kept them from me just as they are keeping you from us . Remember Dear boy there are more sides to every story His - Hers- Mine - Theirs and the Truth . My truth is here in these letters to you . They are my feelings experiences and no one else's . I hope , No . I wait for the day to spend with you again .
Love Always Your
Meme,
 |
| This is the last time I stayed with us before they came and took you away . WE Love you little man !!!! |
I like to think of myself as a strong person but it has truly gotten so hard to not be sad , and angry since I seen Regina again . We ( your mom and I have tried to locate them and you for 5 years now ) and I walked into a store and there she was the woman who took you from me . But to the story . I walked up to the counter and as she looked at me all the color in her face washed from flesh and she was pale as a ghost . I smile and I said "Well, Hello Regina .'' and all she could reply was '' Oh , My."and looked down at the counter and from that moment on she didn't look up again .I than with a smile forced upon my face said " I would like to see my grandson ." while still looking down she says "Joe ! Will not have it !" I than said " Well, I do not know why ?" she put my mushrooms in a bag handed me my change (while mind you still not looking up ) I took my receipt and started to crumbled it and than I said " Have a nice day ." and continued to walked away .
When I got to the car I immediately called your mom and told her about the encounter I just had . Your mom was so excited to the fact that I had found your other Grandmother and in return some how I found a link back to you . I truly do not know what to do Baby boy . I have no legal rights to see you . It is between you Daddy and Your Mommy and until they get this taking care of my heart will continue to break . I struggle with the thought that you too are going to be hurt by all of this because they can not act like grown ups and do what is right by you . Your daddy keeping you away from those of us who love you and want to teach you about your those in our family that has pasted on before you arrived or shortly there after , like your Great NaNa who pasted from Cancer the year you were born . She was strong and had gone through her own difficulties in her life and I believe if she was still alive today this would not be happening . Or , your great great Grandpop who was a writer and a poet that also pasted from Cancer . He was so proud when he got hold you in his arms . These things are going to cause anger and resentment towards those who have kept you apart from those of us who are also your family .
I don't know what to to . You are the last thing I think about at night when I sleep and you are the first thing I think of when ever I open my eyes . It is a viscous cycle , that I wish I could stop , but I can not because I miss you so much . I can not even write to you everyday like I said I would because I get so sad . I try to be strong but this hurt is a true hurt . I went through this pain before with your Mom and Aunt with their other Grandmother your Great grandma Gene . She kept them from me just as they are keeping you from us . Remember Dear boy there are more sides to every story His - Hers- Mine - Theirs and the Truth . My truth is here in these letters to you . They are my feelings experiences and no one else's . I hope , No . I wait for the day to spend with you again .
Love Always Your
Meme,
 |
| Love Always and Forever Meme |
