I had an odd feeling last night that I could find a recent picture of you , so I jumped up and ran to my computer . I searched for and then there you were I was overjoyed to the fact that I could see you . There were two pictures I hadn't seen before . And I almost feel like me writing this to you and if your father should see it will find who put it up and make sure I can't see any more pictures of you .But, I have been scared long enough . I mean he already won't let those of us see you or be apart of your life ,for whatever reason ,who are also your family and love you ever so much . He has taking you from your mother and in return me ,your paw paw, your aunts . We all miss you . But I was grateful to be able to see you even if it is just a picture . I am grateful. You are getting to be so big . D , It is so hard to write every time I do I cry . Thats way I don't write to you every day like I said I would in the BEGINNING of this blog to you . I didn't know then that It would be so hard , because I miss you so much . I don't know how your mother does it . I dont know what she is doing with her life ,she too has stopped talking to me . I dont know why ? I miss her too . but I miss you more . Is that bad? I have my memories of us playing in the leaves that last autumn you were here Oh so years ago . You would ride on PawPaws tractor with him .You loved that tractor . We still have it I think he is saving it for you .
