My Dearest Damian ,
I thought I found away to at least be able to see you if only by pictures but I no longer can . I dont know why your father is so hateful to those of us who love you and who are longing to see you . I do not know why he runs away everytime I try to reach out for you he snatches you away. The last time I spoke to him he said if I didn't stop trying to see you he would take me to court . Take me to court , there is no court that would keep a caring Grandmother from seeing her grandchild with all of the proof I have against him . I dont know why he hides you from us . I can only hope that one day he will either stop running and realize that I mean you know harm and forgive himself for whatever it is he is doing ,or maybe oneday you will become old enough to find me to decide for yourself and find us. I don't know why he is scared of you knowing who we are . He said I could not see you without his permission . So? All I asked of him was to let me , us be apart of your life . I would never hurt you or him . He is doing ALL of the grief dealing himself . I know he must of been hurt when your mother left him , but he pushed her away (and from my point of view he had a lot of help taking you from your mommy ) He was mean to her . I know she tried all she could . She didn't leave you my love . She took you with her and when she brought you back to visit with him before he was to leave for training to join the national guard for whatever reason he was gone with you when she returned . She nor I have seen you since then , your were 2 . I miss you . It has been so long . It is hard for me to breathe sometimes I have horrible headaches pretty much all the time now . Sometimes , I am afraid I will never see you again my little man . I don't have the energy at times to get up and come here and write to you like I would like to . I have suffered so much heartbreak in my 43 years here , and I am tried . I feel at times I may die of a broken heart , I was forced away from my family and now you . For 3 years I have not seen you , only in pictures here and there .
I hope you are happy little one in the pictures I seen today you look so sad . Oh so sad . My heart breaks . I hope you receive enough love where ever you are . I love you Meme
